Choir Catastrophe!

     I imagine that some late night talk shows will find this funny, but no one was laughing last Sunday at The Berean Baptist Church of Contentment, NC.

     “It was like something out of an old Three Stooges episode,” said a bewildered Reverend Jenkins.  Everything started out fine.  Our choir was praising the Lord and singing, ‘Soon and Very Soon.’  But slowly Sister Sharon Banner started to sway in the wrong direction.  She was going left, and the rest of the choir was going right.  And I really, don’t want to talk about this any further!”

     Deacon Johnson filled in most of the rest of the details.  “It looked sort of like a human game of pinball,” said the elderly deacon.  “I have attended this church for 43 years, and I have never seen anything like it!  Sister Sharon seemed to be swaying in the wrong direction.  On the 2nd time through the chorus, she collided with Sister Mary Brown.  Sister Brown then lost her balance and fell forward into Kim Simpson, Deacon Simpson’s daughter.  Then, poor Kim fell forward and hit her head on the communion table!”

     “Thankfully, no one was seriously injured,” said a clearly embarrassed choir director.  “They are only keeping Kim overnight in the hospital as a precaution.  I expect to see Sharon, Mary, and Kim all singing in the choir next Sunday morning.”

     Other people were not so kind.  One choir member, insisting on remaining anonymous, said, “It is simple.  Sharon can’t sway.  She ALWAYS has a problem with it, no matter how much we rehearse it.  And that’s as far as I want to go with this!” 

     One other unnamed church member was even less gracious.  “I don’t want to generalize and say that NO white person can sway.  But I WILL say that Sister Sharon can’t!  Sharon needs to find another ministry.  We ALWAYS need more nursery workers.  But if Sister Sharon remains in the choir, it is only a matter of time before someone REALLY gets hurt!”

     Sharon Banner remains unavailable for comment.


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